you stole my heart (please keep it safe for me)
by The Crownless Queen
Summary: James never says his 'I love you's out loud - he prefers to show them to her. Or 5 things Lily learned about her husband. Jily, for Bex.


_Word count:_ 1523

 **you stole my heart (please, keep it safe for me)**

Here are the things Lily learns about James after they get married.

 **.i.**

He snores.

Technically, she knew about it already - it would have been impossible to live in the same dorms and not hear the complaints of all his roommates, and so she had known that James snored.

But she had known it in a distant way, as it didn't truly concern her. At first because she 'hated that arrogant toe-rag' and then because 'surely his friends were just teasing him and exaggerating to embarrass him'.

She quickly learns that it is not so. Every complaint, every curse she had heard over the years was proven true on the very first night she spent with him.

Don't get her wrong, the sex was amazing, but she had just meant to fetch a glass of water from the bathroom – she could conjure the glass easily, but she always found that the water from the tap tasted better than the Aguamenti-summoned one did.

She takes maybe five minutes to get there and come back to bed, but by then James is already asleep, and yes, he is snoring.

The first few minutes are hilarious. The next hour before she remembers that even though a Silencing spell wouldn't work as it'd stop working as soon as she fell asleep – leading undoubtedly to her waking up and the whole cycle starting anew – she could still use wax to block out the sounds and sleep peacefully.

She never mentions anything to him, but she does give her secret to the other Marauders. They're all close enough that she knows they'll probably need it at some point or another, and now that she's actually had to go through a night of those abominable sounds, she knows better than to let anyone be submitted to them if she can help it.

 **.ii.**

He is a terrible liar when it doesn't involve pranks. She'd never have guessed, considering the amount of detentions he and his friends weaseled themselves out of back at Hogwarts – she'd know, because she spent years fuming about the unfairness of it all – but she quickly realizes that unless it's to a teacher or some kind of higher authority, James has no idea how to lie.

He doesn't lie often, at least not to her, and it's mostly on small stuff she doesn't really care about, but it's an adventure almost every time.

He builds the strangest stories and somehow ropes his friends – usually Sirius, though on one particularly memorable incident, Peter had been the one to try to corroborate her husband's story – into helping him.

Lily has honestly no idea why they go along with it when they clearly realize, from the 'what-do-you-expect-us-to-do-about-it?' looks they send her way every time James asks them to deliver his excuses, that said excuses are flimsy at best and far-fetched and unbelievable at worst.

It's ridiculous, but almost always fun, and she suspects that maybe James does it on purpose, at least sometimes, to make her laugh. Really, no one is that bad at lying.

And she's noticed that his more extravagant excuses seem to come for the stuff he thinks she'll be the most mad about. That he thinks she'll buy that 'aliens kidnapped me this afternoon and so I forgot to buy a gift for your sister' (she'll forever regret introducing him to that particular aspect of Muggle culture) is a wonder, and it should only serve to make her angrier, but somehow it makes it impossible for her to stay mad at him instead.

 _(she doesn't really mind – he always ends up apologizing and she hates being mad at him, so they're a great pair)_

 **.iii.**

He's an Animagus.

She had known, of course, that Remus was a werewolf. Anyone with half a brain could have figured it out, and she'd despair for what it means for magical folks that no one else figured it out if it didn't also mean that Remus would probably have been expelled and never allowed near another 'healthy' wizard ever again.

It had taken her a couple of years, but she had actually known for years – she even found out before the boys, Remus tells her, bemused. She hadn't cared, and since back at Hogwarts she hadn't been really close to him, she had just decided to keep quiet about it. Obviously, Remus meant no harm, and precautions had been taken. There was nothing she could have done.

What she hadn't known, though, was that his fellow Marauders had decided to spend the full moon nights with him.

"You," Lily states in front of a stag, a dog and a rat (what has her life even become?), "are barking mad."

"That's what I said," Remus answers with a smile that's entirely too fond, and okay, it's impossible to actually stay mad when he seems so much lighter than he usually is, like a great weight has been lifted off his shoulders (it had started years ago, Lily remembers, and now that she knows she figures that must have been when his friends joined him).

Sirius just barks in answers and jumps on her knees, licking her face and prompting James to turn back and go all 'that's my wife you're slobbering over you overgrown mutt'.

The look Sirius sends his way finally answers a question Lily has asked herself for years: how does he do the puppy dog eyes look so well?

For all answer, James flicks his wand and Sirius' fur turns pink.

Lily doesn't think she's ever laughed this hard.

 _(really, she shouldn't have expected anything else of them)_

 **.iv.**

He likes cuddling.

In the winters, he's like the giant heater she's never known she wanted or needed.

In the summers, he's just like the giant heater she's never wanted.

Either way though, she likes to be held and she feels safe in James' arms.

Besides, she'd suffer through much worse than a little heat in the summers to keep waking up to the sight of her husband's face every morning.

 **.v.**

James never says 'I love you' out loud.

Lily finds it weird at first, wondering if maybe he disliked the words or had some bad experience with them – she doesn't know much about his parents as they died just a few months before she and James got together, but they had always seemed to love their son in the stories she's heard – but she doesn't worry.

She doesn't need to. James may not say the words, but he shows her his feelings every day through his actions.

He worships her body with an intensity that is sometimes a little overwhelming, he smiles at her like she's his entire world, and more importantly, he makes her happy.

She says it, though. Partly because she wants to, partly because she needs to know that he knows she does. She never expected to fall so hard and so fast for him but she did, and there are days when he does something so innocuous, such as send a smile her way, that make her feel like she's never going to stop falling in love with him.

"I love you," she tells James one morning – blurts it out really, and it's stupid but she had the perfect moment planned out and just ruined all that, but it's just so _them_ that she can't help but laugh a little – between two bites at breakfast.

James just stares and gapes, and she thinks he might look a bit panicked too. That makes her feel warm inside, and her smile grows softer.

"I…" He starts, but stop there, clearly at a loss. "I'm… I mean, I am… I mean, I do…" He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair, and look into her eyes with an intensity that hinges on desperation. "You know, right?"

"Of course," Lily answers, catching his hand in hers and running her fingers over the back of it. "It's alright, you don't have to say it if you don't want to. We have all the time in the world, and I know it already. I don't need to hear the words – you can tell them whenever you're ready."

His hand stills in hers and she knows what he's going to do before he does it. They both lean forward and meet halfway.

The kiss is awkward, happening as it is over the breakfast table, but James tastes like honey and peaches, and it's as close to perfection as she thinks they'll ever get.

 _(in the end, they forget breakfast and end up back in bed – and late for work)_

 **.+1.**

James says 'I love you' through his actions, and nothing says it better than the last words he ever told her.

He's giving Lily a chance – a chance to run, to escape and save their son – but Lily finally understands why James never told her he loved her.

Actions speak louder than words sometimes, and she loves their son too. That's why she kisses his forehead, promises him that everything'll be fine, and makes her stand.


End file.
